"10 Things Never to Say To a Stay-At-Home Mom" (or Dad):

1. When the kids are older, do you think you’ll get a real job?
2.How June Cleaver of you!
3.Oh, so you don’t work?
4.Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few
dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow?
5.All day with your kids? I can’t even imagine.
6.I’m jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn’t have to work either.
7.What do you do all day, anyway?
8.I’m sure you’re not the only one who’s ever wasted money on a college degree.
9.That explains why your son is so clingy!
10.Weird. I assumed your house would be superclean.


--by Candy Kirby of TheLaughingStork.com


And I would like to add a couple of my own, based on personal experience:

11. You should figure out how to better manage your [fill in the
blank: stress, weight, time, sick kids, in-laws, hormones, husband,
baby blues, etc.]. (That one came at 2 months postpartum).

12. You surely have time to meditate every day.

13. You must have plenty of time to exercise.

14. You should’ve just let them cry it out.

15. How come you don’t call anymore?

16. You really ought to wear a more supportive bra so that they
don’t sag for good.


I have to admit that before I became a mostly stay-at-home Mom, I had
some similar thoughts to those above. Who knew parenting could be so
demanding, and also so rewarding? For those who do not have kids and
who are still scratching your heads, I’ll make it easy for you:

10 Things You CAN Say to a Stay-At-Home Mom

1. When the kids are older, do you think you’ll get a real job? -->
Better: I’m sure you’ll have more time to pursue your passions and
interests again as the children grow older and more independent. Right
now you are devoted and absorbed with the most important job ever!
You deserve a promotion and a vacation!

2.How June Cleaver of you!--> Better: You’re amazing!

3.Oh, so you don’t work? -->Better: You work so hard! Thanks for all
of your commitment and sleepless nights around the clock.

4.Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few
dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow? --> Better: Do you have
any time between feeding, pumping, potty training, dressing kids,
bathing kids, grooming kids, changing diapers, laundry, cooking,
cleaning, grocery shopping, other shopping, household repairs and
projects, community projects, party planning, caring for family and
friends, managing accounts, financing, accounting, organizing, doctor
appointments, dental appointments, part-time work, maintainng your
professional credentials, gardening, play dates, teaching, nurturing,
fostering family's spiritual growth, coaching, consoling,
disciplining, entertaining, transporting and balancing your kids in
two arms all day to help me out? Of course you don’t!

5.All day with your kids! I can’t imagine --> Better: All day with
your kids! Tell me your secrets for making it work. You are so
patient and good with them.

6.I’m jealous. I wish my husband were so rich I wouldn’t have to work
either. --> Better: Your work is priceless! What you do is so
valuable.

7.What do you do all day, anyway? --> Better: Do you have any time to
yourself between feeding, pumping, potty training, dressing kids,
bathing kids, grooming kids, changing diapers, laundry, cooking,
cleaning, grocery shopping, other shopping, household repairs and
projects, community projects, party planning, caring for family and
friends, managing accounts, financing, accounting, organizing, doctor
appointments, dental appointments, part-time work, maintaining your
professional credentials, gardening, play dates, teaching, nurturing,
fostering family's spiritual growth, coaching, consoling,
disciplining, entertaining, transporting and balancing your kids in
two arms all day?

8.I’m sure you’re not the only one who’s ever wasted money on a
college degree. --> Better: Thank you for sacrificing your own
ambitions for the kids. I hear parenting is the toughest job ever.
I'm sure that your perseverence, communication skills, organizational
skills, work ethic and passion will translate into you being a really
great parent.

9.That explains why your son is so clingy! --> Better: Your son loves
and trusts you so much. What a special bond you two have.

10.Weird. I assumed your house would be superclean. --> Better: Glad
to see you’re prioritizing your time with your children and not with
the dustpan. It’s uncanny how kids can mess up an entire house in
under 5 minutes.

11.You should figure out how to better manage your [fill in the blank:
stress, weight, time, sick kids, in-laws, hormones, husband, baby
blues, etc.]. (That one came at 2 months postpartum). --> Better:
You balance everything so well and seem so confident. You look
beautiful. Thank you for hosting us and takign care of us despite all
of the demands placed upon you. I will sit here and listen
compassionately as you tell me abuot how you do it all.

12.How come you don’t call anymore? --> Better: Do you have time to
yourself to talk today? Did you get any sleep last night or do you
need to go to bed now?

13.You really ought to wear a more supportive bra so that they don’t
sag for good. --> Better: Thank you for the life-giving ability of
your body and for the life-sustaining ability of your breasts. You
are a Goddess! You rock!

I receive this in my inbox this morning from the AP listserve. Very much describes my life.